Deadliest Warrior: Vigilante Edition
by 2wingo
Summary: It's the ultimate "My Dad vs. Your Dad" fight as two legendary killers fight to determine who is deadliest.
1. Introduction

_**(A/N: "Deadliest Warrior" fanfictions are nothing new, but I notice that most of them are based upon the first two seasons, which as any regular watcher of the show can tell you were nowhere near as thorough as Season 3 in terms of testing. So . . . just pretend you're watching an episode of Season 4, and pretend that Robert Daley WASN'T fired for being a lying son of a bitch. Please Review.)**_

**Note:** If you haven't seen _The Boondock Saints_, it's available to watch on YouTube. I'd also recommend you see _Boondock Saints II: All Saints' Day_ and read the graphic novel "Boondock Saints: _In Nomine Patris_, the Secret History of _Il Duce_"(but only the first one is really necessary).

**Disclaimer:** I do not make any claim of ownership to the television show "Deadliest Warrior" or to any persons, living, dead, and/or fictional, that appear within, nor I do make any claim of ownership to the graphic novel/movie "Kick-Ass" or to the "Boondock Saints" franchise. I do not incur any monetary benefit from the writing of this fanfiction.

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><p><strong>The following battle scenarios are designed to test the lethal power of real warriors and their weapons<strong>

**These tests are being executed by combat and weapon experts and **_**should not be imitated**_**.**

**The producers do not endorse, sanction, or condone any of the described activities or opinions expressed in this program about** **any of the vigilantes that appear within.**

Geoff:

"The 'real superhero' phenomenon has only been going on for about a year now, and in that short span of time, there are already at least a few dozen active costumed vigilantes in the United States alone. And none of them are more infamous than Big Daddy."

Mack:

"If there was ever a real-life superhero who could be said to equal Marvel Comics' Punisher, it would probably be this guy. He planned his attacks and took out his targets like a well-oiled machine using the best tools for the job."

Geoff:

"Il Duce was a hitman on a mission. He hated the Mafia with his entire heart and soul, and paradoxically worked for it on a regular basis."

Mack: 

"This is a man who relishes killing Mafiosos, which is why various crime families would hire him so often. When the Sicilian code of honor prevented them from taking out one of their own, they would hire this guy. If rumors are to be believed, he NEVER failed a single mission, up until the day he died. When these two warriors collide, it's gonna be a bloodbath."

_**Big Daddy**__, the self-styled superhero who almost single-handedly brought the D'Amico crime family to the brink of collapse._

**Il Duce**_, the legendary Irish assassin who cut a bloody swathe through the New York underworld._

_Who. Is. Deadliest?_

_To find out, the history of war and modern science collide as former Navy SEAL __**Richard "Mack" Machowicz **__dives deep into the tactics of the warriors behind the weapons. Biomedical engineer __**Geoff Desmoulin **__applies 21__st__ Century technology to unlock new data on arsenals of the past. And ER physician __**Armand Dorian **__dissects the trauma and reveals the physical and psychological traits that shaped these legends of war. This ground-breaking data will be paired with historical research, and entered into an all-new digital combat engine. Two legendary combatants will be resurrected; history will be rewritten; but only one will be crowned_

**Deadliest Warrior.**

_Welcome to the Fight Club. Our experts will gather to determine which warrior is Deadliest: _

_Big Daddy, the costumed vigilante who, with the help of his equally lethal daughter, led a bloody campaign that utterly decimated the old D'Amico crime family. _

_Or, _Il Duce_, the Irish hitman whose unparalleled reputation for bringing death to Mafia soldiers still makes his name spoke only in whispers._

"For me, it's all about the physicality of the warrior," said Dorian, "Look at Big Daddy; he's 6 feet tall, 165 pounds even, roughly 46 years old. Approaching middle age, but he's in REMARKABLE shape due to his intensive exercise regimen. _Il Duce_, on the other hand, is 5 foot 9, 167 pounds, and 67 years old at the time of his death. He's old, he's slowed down, and he smokes and drinks heavily."

"What about their psychological health?" asked Mack.

"To put it simply," said Dorian, "both these guys are a mess. Big Daddy shows symptoms from all three clusters of personality disorder. He shows signs of paranoid, schizotypal, antisocial, borderline, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. He was so obsessed with his goal of being a superhero that he transformed his own daughter into a sociopathic killing machine by the time she was only 11 years old!"

Mack gave a low whistle.

"Now, _Il Duce_," continued Dorian, "He is, at heart, a religious extremist. He's a lifelong, devout Irish Catholic who believes that by killing evil men, he is doing God's work. This religious fanaticism goes right down to his sons, who followed in his footsteps."

"Armand, Mack," said Geoff, "for me, it's all about the weapons. These are two warriors who always went into battle armed to the teeth and hardened by years of punishing training and experience."

"That may be true," said Mack, "but we have to take into account whatever historical data is available and give the X-factors their due. Bottom line: we've got a hell of a match up."

_The all-new digital combat engine is designed by __**Robert Daley**__, a former Army Intelligence operative and designer of more than 30 military-based video games, including the Deadliest Warrior game. The new engine will combine weapons' data with more than 100 X-factors, critical intangibles that will be assigned values based upon the warriors' battle records, tactics, and psychological profiles._

"The biggest intangible I'm seeing here is Motivation," said Daley, "Big Daddy is a man with a desire for vengeance. Something was taken from him or done to him that damaged him so completely that his own possible escape is to purge his fixation in the most meaningful manner possible, which for him was dressing up like a superhero and taking down the one who, in his mind, is the villain. _Il Duce_ is also a man bent on revenge, but not necessarily his own. Yes, his father being killed by the Mafia got him started, but later on down the line he began to believe that he was an avenging angel sent by God to smite the wicked. A man who believes that God is on his side is VERY dangerous."

_Representing_ Il Duce _are his sons, __**Conner and Murphy MacManus**__. These fraternal twin brothers are also known as the Saints, a pair of Boston-based vigilante serial killers, and are experts in the use of their father's weapons and tactics._

"You hafta understand," said Murphy, "our da was the best of the best. He never failed when he took a job. And besides, how are you gonna win against a man whose got God in his corner?"

"Some nutcase in a knock-off Batman suit isn't going to pose a problem," said Conner, "Da has got this one in the bag."

_The weapons of Big Daddy will be wielded by__** Hit-Girl**__. A costumed vigilante in her own right, Hit-Girl was Big Daddy's daughter and _protégée_._

"My daddy was never beaten in a fair fight," said Hit-Girl, "We did to the Mafia in the span of months what Il Duce took years to do. This Irish *beep* is going down HARD."

_Also representing Big Daddy: __**Kick-Ass**__. The founder of the Real Superhero Movement, Kick-Ass played an instrumental role in the final assault upon the D'Amicos._

"I heard stories about _Il Duce_ and the Saints growing up," said Kick-Ass, "and frankly, compared to some of the *beep* Big Daddy did, they are lightweights. I have no doubt that Big Daddy's gonna carry this fight all the way to the end."

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><p><em><strong>(AN: This fic will be divided into 4 parts: the Introduction, the Testing, the Showdown, and the Aftermath. Please Review.)**_

TO BE CONTINUED.


	2. Introduction part 2

_**(A/N: Sorry it took me so long to write this chapter, but the fairly extensive amount of research going into the weapons' capabilities took damn near forever. Coupled with the fact that I just started school last week AND am training for my black belt, I've been busy as Hell. But, enough of my whining, just enjoy the chapter. Please Read & Review.)**_

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><p><em><strong>Big Daddy<strong>__, the costumed vigilante who laid waste to the D'Amico crime syndicate, _

_verses _**Il Duce**_, the Irish assassin that nearly destroyed the Mafia from within._

Il Duce _began life as Noah MacManus in County Leitrim, Ireland, and moved to the United States with his father in the late 1950's._

"Our grandad was a tanner," said Murphy, "In the old country, his leathercraft was considered second to none, and Da was no slouch, either."

"In 1958," said Conner, "the Patriarcha crime family wanted to use grandpa's shop as a front company for their operations. When he refused, they beat him to death with a hammer. Da watched the whole thing."

"Something broke in him, that day," said Murphy, "For a while, he was a walkin' zombie; technically alive, but with no feelin' or thoughts, just goin' through the motions like a rote ballet he'd performed a thousand times before."

"But all that changed," said Conner, "the day his good friend Louie Patronazzi came into the shop and told him that he knew who killed our grandad."

_Noah's keen eyes and steady hands, products of a lifetime of craftsmanship, quickly translated into an exceptional talent at shooting. Making a special weapon-carrying vest from his father's best leather, Noah embarked on a 4-year campaign of death and violence, completely wiping out the existing 5 Families of New York. It was around this time that _Il Duce _began to work FOR the Mafia instead of just against it._

"Unbeknownst to our Da," said Conner, "Louis was secretly workin' for the Mafia the whole time. The head of one of the Families, Giuseppe Yakavetta Sr., was payin' him to direct Da away from his interests and against his enemies. Louie planned, Da did the wet work."

"When Da went nuclear in '63," said Murphy, "Yakavetta hightailed it to Boston and set up shop there. Louie had Da set up and sent to prison in '75, where he stayed until Yakavetta Jr. tried to take **us** out."

"It took our Da 30 years," said Conner, "but he finally finished off Yakavetta that day in the courtroom. Up until the day he died, he never stopped. Failure is the only option for Big Daddy; how's a worm supposed to fight an eagle?"

_The Saints are confident, and back up their confidence with a formidable arsenal:_

_**The Six-Shot Gun Vest**_

_**The Franchi PA3 shotgun**_

_**The M61 hand grenade**_

_**The Arkansas Toothpick knife**_

_**and the M1941 Johnson rifle**_

_But our Big Daddy experts are not convinced._

"We're supposed to be afraid of some dumb Irish shoemaker?" asked Hit-Girl derisively, "I don't think so."

_While much of Big Daddy's history is a closely guarded secret, it __**is**__ known that he was originally a police officer, working the narcotics division. After being set up by crooked officers in the pay of crime lord Frank D'Amico, he was arrested on charges of drug dealing and sentenced to 20 years in prison. His pregnant wife, unable to cope with the sudden influx of bills, committed suicide while Hit-Girl was still _in utero_._

"After getting out on parole after 5 years in prison," said Kick-Ass, "he found the orphanage where his daughter was living, took her back, and spent the next 6 years training to take his revenge."

"Daddy was a huge comic book fan," said Hit-Girl, "He loved the idea of D'Amico dying at the hands of a superhero. He trained himself to the peak of human ability for the sole purpose of taking down *beep*s like _Il _Douche. There's no way we can lose."

_Big Daddy's team is fully prepared for battle with an impressive arsenal of their own:_

_**The Beretta 92FS pistol**_

_**The Heckler & Koch MP5KA4 submachine gun**_

_**The Mossberg 500 shotgun**_

_**The M67 hand grenade**_

_**The SOG Tridant knife **_

_**and the M24 Sniper Weapon System**_

"Conner, Murph," said Geoff, "before we start the weapons testing, I gotta ask: could you maybe show us one of your special executions?"

"Oh, sure Geoff," said Murphy, "Just get us a test subject."

_The Saints will perform a mock execution on a ballistic gel torso, designed to mimic the density of human flesh and bone._

The torso was set up on the firing range, and the twins stood on either side of the torso, aiming their own silenced Berettas at the back of the skull.

"And shepherds we shall be," they intoned in unison, "for Thee, my Lord, for Thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. _In Nomine Patris, et Fili, et Spiritus Sancti_."

"My sweet God," said Dorian, going to examine the body, "Look at the placing of these shots. The bullets entered through the parietal bone, passed through the frontal lobe and went out the eye sockets."

"Our da would use this to kill the men he wanted to sweat a little before they died," said Conner, "Imagine it: you're sittin' there on your knees, a gun to your head, and the last thing you hear is our family prayer."

"And that's precisely what Da is gonna do to Big Daddy," said Murphy, "He'll beg for mercy, and then he'll die."

"Yeah, not gonna happen," said Hit-Girl, "First of all, my dad would never beg. Second, you're assuming he's going to just kneel down and let your dad kill him. And third, he wore a bulletproof helmet. All the bible bull*beep* in the world isn't gonna penetrate a hardened kevlar plate."

"I think we're gonna have to let the tests speak for themselves," said Mack, coming between the Saints and Hit-Girl.

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><p><em><strong>(AN: Yeah, I know, you were expecting the actual tests. Well don't worry, I'll have them out soon. I've just been busy and I wanted to throw you guys a bone. Please Review.)**_


	3. Testing part 1

_**(A/N: For numerous reasons, it's taken me a while to get off my duff and start writing, but we're finally here. I made some changes in chapter 2 as to the weapons both sides will be wielding, so you might want to go back and check. Also, I haven't read "Kick-Ass 2" yet. At all. So if you must reference it in your reviews, I would greatly appreciate it if you would mark them with a spoiler so I can skip over that part. Please Read & Review.)**_

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><p><em><strong>Big Daddy<strong>__, the costumed killer who helped to usher in the Real Superhero Movement._

**Il Duce**_, the mass-murdering Irish assassin whose thirst for Mafia blood was unquenchable._

"Big Daddy doesn't have a prayer," said Murphy, "He killed, maybe, a few dozen mafia soldiers afore he got caught. Our da, his kills numbered in the **hundreds**."

"He was a *beep* artist with a gun," said Conner, "every time he pulled that trigger, a man died. Whether it was up close an' personal or far away on a rooftop, you can count the number o' times Da missed on one *beep* hand."

"_Il Duce_ is going down hard," said Kick-Ass, "Big Daddy's training and equipment were light-years ahead of anything he used in his day."

"My dad would enjoy killing someone like _Il Duce_," said Hit-Girl, "drop all the religious crap and what was he? Just another *beep* with a gun. Big Daddy's favorite prey."

_For long range kills, _Il Duce_ found a useful tool in _

_**The M1941 Johnson rifle**__, a light weapon issued to certain Marine platoons during World War II._

"The Johnson was invented in 1939 as an alternate to the M1 Garand," said Conner, "It only weighed nine and half pounds, as opposed to the Garand's 11.6. It also had a unique rotary 10-round magazine. Unfortunately, the short recoil action required a moving barrel, so you couldn't attach a bayonet."

"This gun was only issued to certain special forces groups prior to the 1960's," said Mack, "It just couldn't compete with the studier M1."

"So how did your father get ahold of one?" asked Geoff.

"Louie used some of Yakavetta's connections to get it for Da," said Murphy, who gleefully added, "In an ironic twist, he used it to take out Yakavetta's best _Capo_ that night."

"Okay, okay," shouted Hit-Girl over the MacManus brothers' laughter, "God, where do I start?"

She grabbed it out of Murphy's hand and said, "First of all, just look at this thing. I made my bones with this gun, and let me tell ya, it breaks down if you look at it funny. Second, look at the bullet it uses."

She ejected a round and held it up. "This is the 7x57mm Mauser cartridge. This piece of *beep* has been obsolete for military purposes since the Second Boer War. I mean, compare it to this."

Kick-Ass held up another bullet.

"The 7.62x51mm NATO," he said, "It's been in use since the Vietnam War, and is good for all manner of small arms, including **our** sniper rifle."

Hit-Girl jumped in and said, "And do I even have to mention that the Johnson doesn't have a *beep* scope? Anything further than 100 yards and you might as well just throw the damn thing."

"That might be a concern for a normal person," said Conner, nodding his head agreeably.

"But our da always said to us," said Murphy, "'Scopes are for amateurs.' When the terrible hand of the Lord steadies your shot, you – "

"Are you gonna go into that religious crap again?" interrupted Hit-Girl, "Because I'm leaving if you are."

_Big Daddy's weapon of choice:_

_**The M24 Sniper Weapon System**__, a bolt-action rifle capable of dealing death at nearly half a mile._

"The M24 is classified as a system," said Hit-Girl, "not just a rifle, because it has a scope and a bipod that helps to steady your shot. It was based on the Remington Model 700 hunting rifle. It originally used the .270 Winchester cartridge, but it was redesigned to use the more ballistics-effective 7.62 NATO."

"So how far out can you get a clear shot with this thing?" asked Geoff.

"A good sniper will be effective with this gun up to about 800 meters, roughly 26 hundred feet. Converted to use the .338 Lapua Magnum cartridge, you can get almost nine-tenths of a mile"

Dr. Dorian let out a low whistle.

_An impressive distance. But our _Il Duce_ experts are not intimidated._

"Ya know what the Irish call a man," said Connor, "who needs to be that far away before he's willin' to take a shot at someone?"

"We call him '_cladhaire_,'" said Murphy, "Means 'coward.'"

_To test their sniper rifles, our experts will take fire on moving targets. Both sides will be timed, and given as many shots as they need to take down all five targets._ _Our _Il Duce_ experts are up first_.

"Okay, Murph," said Geoff, "You'll be firing from a position about 85 yards off. You got five wiseguys moving around inside. They'll start off slow, but after your first shot, the speed will increase to mimic the panic that comes with being shot at. I want you to aim directly for the bridge between the eyes. Got it?"

"I think I can handle it," said Murphy.

Everything was set up back at the testing area as Murphy settled down into his position, giving the Johnson a last-minute check.

"Murphy, are you ready?" shouted Geoff.

"Ready!"

Geoff counted off in Gaelic. "_Trí, dó, aon, __**ar aghaidh linn**_!"

Murphy began firing. He missed the first few shots, but Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl practically gapped as fake blood and foam torso went flying, in spite of the Johnson's lack of a scope. Finally, Murphy was done.

"25.3 seconds," said Geoff, checking the stopwatch, "Nice work, Murph."

"This is, just, unbelievable," said Dorian, "over 300 feet away without any sort of vision enhancement, and you still managed to make hits like this."

He turned to the first torso.

"Look at that: dead center in the forehead. That's an instant kill."

The second torso had only been grazed along the jugular vein.

"Not necessarily an instant kill," said Dorian, "but unless he gets serious pressure on it and goes to a hospital immediately, he's dead before too long."

The third torso was hit in the solar plexus.

"This shot would sever the super mesenteric artery, go right through the crura of the diaphragm, and probably do some damage to the first lumbar vertebra. Definitely an instant kill."

The fourth torso was shot through the neck.

"This one doesn't even need an explanation. Right through the spinal cord, instant kill."

The fifth and final torso was shot twice, beneath the collar bone and in the spleen.

"Under the clavicle will probably hit the subclavian artery, which by itself isn't an instant kill, but coupled with being shot in the spleen, the blood loss makes this a definite kill."

_It took Murphy nine shots to hit all five targets, giving him three instant kills and two delayed kills. Only one of the shots came close to the appointed target._

"Dead is dead," said Murphy, "It doesn't particularly matter how ya get there."

"I have to admit," said Kick-Ass, strolling over, "I didn't think you'd be able to pull it off. For not being able to aim properly, those were some good shots."

"Oh, this was nothin'," said Conner, "Compared to our da, we're just babes in the woods."

"I was initially skeptical when I heard about the MacManus' supernatural shooting ability," said Mack, "but after seeing you be able to kill like you did, I think this is an X-factor that could make or break the whole fight."

"Excuse me," said Hit-Girl, "Are you forgetting that he couldn't hit the right spot even **once**? Not only can the M24 hit the right spot, it can do it without wasting so much ammo, either."

Hit-Girl set herself up at the top of the sniping tower and loaded the M24.

"Hit-Girl, are you ready?" said Geoff.

"Ready!"

"3, 2, 1, go!"

Hit-Girl fired. She paced out her shots, carefully putting them where they needed to go. She missed only once, and lost a few seconds while she reloaded, but finally called out, "Done!"

"30.3 seconds," said Geoff, "A little slower, but let's check the damage."

"Check this out," said Dorian, examining the first torso, "right between his eyebrows. This is an instant kill."

The second and third targets were exactly the same. On the fourth torso, the bullet went straight through the mouth.

"This looks like it's hitting the medulla oblongata," said Dorian, "If there's such a thing as a good place to get shot, this is it. You're dead before you can even feel any pain."

The fifth torso was shot through the right eye.

"Another instant kill," pronounced Dorian, "This would go right through the inferior frontal gyrus."

Hit-Girl shot the MacManus brothers a smug little grin.

_Hit-Girl managed to eliminate all five targets in six shots, each an instant kill. Three out of the five hit the appointed target. So which long-range weapon has the advantage?_

"I'm for the M24, all the way," said Mack, "I learned all about this weapon in the Navy, and there is a reason why it's been favored by military and police the world over since the early 90's."

"I gotta go with Mack on this one," said Geoff, "the Johnson does decent damage, has a larger magazine capacity, and is semi-automatic, but as a sniper's tool, only a MacManus could use it that effectively. Edge: M24."

_For __**Long-Range Weapons**__: __**Edge**__ goes to __**Big Daddy**__, for the __**M24 Sniper Weapon System**__._

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><p><em><strong>(AN: Now that I've got my momentum back, updates will come a lot fast. Please Review.)**_


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